Sunday, April 28, 2019

Sleep Study Experience...

Mannn! Good Merning Ya'll...

When I tell yall this freaking sleep apnea sleep study was the worse experience of my life! I could have did this shit at home and came out better.

So, I was schedule to be there at the hospital for 7:30pm Satursay night. They requested me to be there like 15minutes earlier. I got there at 7pm due to my mom having to go to work. So I sat around for about 10 to 25 minutes before they came got me.

Went upstairs to the 4th floor and went to the 1st room they had assigned to me which was okay, small but doable. Then I put into another room across the hall because someone canceled, didnt quite understand that because it was only be didnt really need a bigger room

(Might I add it smelled in this entire hospital)

Okay so I had to fill out some paperwork and things of that sort and then they started hooking me up to all the necessary probs and wires. Here is when I start to get annoyed. They put them on my face, forehead,legs, back(shoulders), scalp and neck. I had these straps around my chest and stomach. Also had a pulsoc on my middle finger. Got in bed and tried to rest. I couldn't move, the bed was hard, pillows were soft as cotton (I had 4 and was still flat as heck).

Every move I made they came running in the room. Because they had the wires soooooooo fucking tangled that every time I moved I pulled or tugged at something which caused the probes to not give a good signal. The probes that was in my  hair (which I didnt like) kept coming loose. Then they kept making comments like *Wow* or whispering behind my head and then the woman would say *Yeah I know I know but sometimes proper instructions arent given* it took everything in me not to turn around and ask them *Is there a problem?* but I held my tongue and said nothing. I just wanted to go to sleep and get this over with.

 This was the most uncomfortable situation I have ever been in. I'm praying that they were able to get whatever information they needed because this is something I can NOT again not st this particular place.
I felt as if I only got maybe 3 hours of sleep. There was a female and Male nurse I think between the both of them they cane in the room about 8 to 10 times. Except maybe once or twice when I called them to allow me to go to the bathroom.

I had this sleep study done over 11 years ago at the same hospital and it was nothing like this, nothing like this at all...

This experience was a very annoying and frustrating but I know I had to get it done. Sometimes we have to bite the bullet and do what us necessary to get things done for the betterment of your health and I am praying that they were able to get what they needed because I dont want to do this again unless I do it st my damn house in the city where I live... Below are a few pictures of me once I was hooked up and how the wires looked...

🧘🏾‍♀️Namaste'🧘🏾‍♀️
♡SouthernQueen♡



 The first picture is of my leg, they had 2 probes on both legs near my muscles to monitor leg movement. Then the next picture is of the straps they had on me for whatever reason cause all they did was get shit all tangled up and cause me not to be able to sleep properly. Finally is the bottom picture is when I was getting up to go to the bathroom or when they were done and I was getting in bed. And that's just a small view because it was truly worse than that. They were tangled up all in my braids. Then they had the ekg probes in my hair and that left this petroleum jelly shit in my hair which I am not pleased with! But I'll be washing my hair soon I was able to wipe it out with a warm towel.

♡No matter the situation or how bad you may not want to do something always and I do mean ALWAYS put your health first and take God with you on the journey...♡

🧘🏾‍♀️Namaste'🧘🏾‍♀️




Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Eating From The Past...



It's time for us as humans to really take a step back and rethink our lives and what we want out of it. Where do we want to end up 5 to 10 years from now and how we want our health to be. We want to look at our grandkids and kids and know that they are looking up to someone and mimicking someone with good health and a great mindset. Being healthy is not a s im n and uts not anything to be ashamed of. Listening to a friend or a doctor tell you that eating burgers fries and fried food isnt good for you. If someone has told you this its not because they are telling you what to do or how to eat it's because they are trying to help you to 

SAVE YOUR LIFE!

In the African American culture it is tradition to eat pigs feet, porkchops smothered in gravy, mustard greens, or tails, hogmoss(hogmogs), chiterlings or as we call then chit'lings. We are known for throwing down on every holiday, and boil damn near anything in a pot with some crab boil and we will be licking and sucking umour fingers at the end of the day.

All of that is all well and fine but if you do your homework and search back to our ancestors, you'll see that a lot of the food we have became accustom to eating comes from the scraps that we were given as slaves and well our ancestors did what they knew how to make it taste sufficient enough to feed their families.

#ThatDontMeanItsHealthyForYou.

African American women are found to carry the highest number in obesity and as sad as it seems this us true. For in most households it's the women who are the homemakers (regardless of color). We as women are the ones who clean, cook, and serve their husbands. We are the ones responsible for placing the meals on the table so it should be up to us to change that but because of how we grew up we tend to continue that same way of eating why? Because it is how we were raised, because its said to be disrespectful not to eat when you sit at the table of a black family or a black woman or better yet BIG MOMMA...

Times have changed and so does one body qnd we are getting sick and dying at a faster rate than normal due to lack of education and nutrition. It's time for us to step back and look at what we are putting in our mouth and body. Lay still and listen and feel your body l, pay attention to what it is telling you. Regardless to how good popeyes chicken taste pay attention to how tired and sleepy you feel after you have eaten about 4 pieces with their infamous red beans and rice or glorious mash potatoes because hey the food is good I must add. I mean I cant lie I grew up on it as well. It was my dads favorite thing to eat when he came home from offshore.

I remember a t I'll me when they had all of these challenges trending all over social media and kids were setting themselves on fore, making themselves pass out or trying to have lips like that Jenner girl (dont know the names because I dont take part in the lives of celebrities) but here's a challenge for you...

I DARE YOU!!!

To take 30, nah scratch that... I DARE YOU to take 14 days out of your life and cut out fried foods, sugars, and foods that are high in fats and prepare each meal as follows...

1 fist size portion of fast carbs
1 fist size portion of protien
1 fist size portion of slow carbs
Drink 4 8oz glasses of water a day
Drink 2 8oz glasses of Lemon water a day
And workout 30 minutes a day with a workout of your choice...

All while taking account of how you feel every morning once you start this.

This is my life. This is what I do, with the exception that I drink protien shakes because I am not a breakfast person so the shakes are to replace the meals that I dont eat so that I will still maintain the protien and energy I need to have energy.

It's time for us as adults to live longer and show the generation that is coming under us that eating all this canned and man made stuff isnt the right way to live or eat.

I never thought that becoming a grandmother would make me look at life the way I do. I started this Arbonne journey because I just mainly wanted to be healthy because I'm tired of taking medication and I want to be here for my son and now seeing him become a father and laying eyes on my granddaughter just makes me want to fight for a better, healthy, and much longer time on this earth. I have another reason to want to live and be healthy and living with all of the issues I have is hard but the thought of not being here to watch my son grow and one day be married to not see my grandmunchkin start kindergarten is even harder.

So if your tired of being tired and you want to start your life over again email me @ ticy.davis@yahoo.com or hit me up in my inbox on Facebook

LyfeOfASouthernQueen

I truly look forward to hearing from you...

SQ 💋🧘🏾‍♀️🤫



Wednesday, April 10, 2019

My Arbonne Journey...




I started my weight loss journey back in 2006 and I have been going strong since then. When you live a life with Graves Disease, HypoThyroid Disease, Myasthenia Gravis, and Asthma those are the three things that keep my weight bouncing around like a ping pong ball.
I have lost weight once before, I was down to 165lbs and then I had to have eye surgery for my Graves Disease back in 2012, December and because of that I had to take steroids and then I went back to the 200’s and then time passed and in 2014 I was down to 185 and ended up getting sick with my asthma and gained more weight (fluid) and was diagnosed with right side heart failure I was at 267lbs when I was weighed then but more than likely weighed more. I had damaged my sciatic nerve from overdoing it working out and had to take it easy. I am now (last time I was weighed) at 223lbs and I intend to drop this weight. I have been trying to do this on my own for the last 7 years since I was 165lbs. I stayed at that size until 2012 when I had to have my first eye surgery for Graves and I have been fighting to get this weight off of me and I have the concept down but hey a sista can definitely use some help.
This is why I have decided to join the Arbonne company and take part in their 30 days to a healthy life. So far I have to say this is an amazing company and they have amazing products. I feel so much lighter on my feet, I have gained so much more energy from their products. Their fizz sticks alone have done so much for me and my daily activities. Being one who doesn’t eat much as it is their protein shakes are amazing adding their digestion packet to it also helps with my stomach I the morning. I don’t have a gallbladder and everything that goes through me tends to send me running…
Started on Arbonne I feel was the best decision I could have ever made. I feel so much more energy I am now beginning to feel more balanced in life. I find myself waking up more and earlier than I used to. There are times when I don’t wake up until afternoon and that isn’t good for half of my day is already gone and that in turns makes me depressed, but the more I train my brain the more I change. In order for one to be successful at anything they do rather it is running their own business, losing weight or just doing something new you have to change your energy and your way of thinking… I used to always say “I have no reason to get up in the morning I have nothing to do” and now that I am trying to accomplish something I have to change my mind frame. I have to finish my book a book I have been working on for a long time. I have three books that I want to publish and the one about my life is going to take some time for every day, every week, every month and every year something changes for me to write a book on my life is a little challenging, but I will get it done with God’s help it will get done… I am going to be a success there is more to my life than just sitting at home being disabled and collecting a disability check. People will know my name, they will see me in lights, I will make a difference… more of a difference than I have made already…I would never ask or beg anyone to try something that they are not known to or have never heard of but when I tell you I am glad I made the decision to join Arbonne and the crazy thing I did not do this for the money and regardless to how anyone may feel about me saying that it’s the truth… I did it to help better my health and in time you will all see the difference that it is making within my health and God will bring his children to me versus me having to go to them… The proof is always in the pudding… <3 In this day and age
PEOPLE ONLY BELIEVE WHAT THE SEE!!!



This is me now at 223lbs... I will be posting my journey here on this blog and via my social media platforms...

Soooo Check out my:




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SouthernQueen
(collegegyrl14)
















~Being Positive~


~Being Positive~


I have to say in life sometimes it is hard to be positive about certain things. Coming from a person such as myself who was raped at the age of 14 and almost raped again at the age of 18 after I had my son both times by guys I knew or thought I knew. Guys I went to school with and one I grew up with, but as some say you never really and truly know a person.
I have learned that in life if you want to live life a certain way you have to be positive. You have to look at the brighter side of things. When one is constantly negative all the time you will always bring depression and sadness into your life.
Some ask me how am I the way that I am and to be honest I really don’t know what to tell them but that is all God and you really can’t say that to every one because a lot of people don’t share the same faith as I do but I can’t say that there was not one point in time of my life where I was not the way that I am now.

True I have had some not so nice situations in my life occur from abusive relationships, to rape, and to a host of surgeries and nasty break ups… but I guess when you have been through so much and you feel as if the world is against you due to the illnesses that you have sometimes it’s in you to prove them wrong and that is how I feel. I really don’t know any other way to explain how or why I am the way that I am. I guess it’s just the God in me after all he is my creator….


Positivity: the quality or state of being positive, something that is positive.
In life we only get one chance to live it and do things right so why would anyone want to sit there and live life depressed? If this feeling of depression is not something you can shake get help…No one has to deal with it alone…

~TicyCherall~























Thyroid & Graves Disease...The AfterMath!

My name is Tysie Cherall and I am 37 years of age. I was diagnosed with HyperThyroid Disease when I was 18 and pregnant. I was prescribed synthroid to take. Years went on and once I had my son at the age of 19 I went under RAI also known as Radio Active Iodine it was a pill of medication you take to radio active iodine that shrinks the thyroid to help prevent it from producing more hormones, this was done in 1997.

Around 2000 my thyroid started to grow back & my medication was raised from 50mcg's to 100mcg's and then around 2007 I was diagnosed with Graves Disease. My life went on I didn't let this illness stop me. I continued to live my life as if nothing was wrong. They wanted to do surgery the Orbital Decompression but I was very scared so five years later when I couldn't go anymore & my right eye was getting worse December 5, 2012 I went through with my surgery and I have to say that I don't regret it.

The aftermath of having this surgery does not have to mean the end of the world. This is your life and you have Graves/Thyroid/Hashimoto's those illnesses does not have you! You have to FIGHT you have to show this illness who is in control. One  CANNOT be weak-minded or negative when dealing with this illness. Because it feeds off of stress & negative feelings & thoughts!
I have often wondered why I have not experienced all of the things I have read about from the severe weakness that some have experienced from Graves. The only thing I have experienced was fatigue, brain fog, and heart ❤ palpitations. I have had those side effects for when I was first diagnosed I wasn't taking my meds as I should have which is something I DO NOT RECOMMEND TO ANYONE!


I have learned that the thyroid as small as it is, is just as important as your heart because your thyroid helps control your central nervous system. It helps control your sanity so it is always important that your meds are taken at all times everyday at the same time on an empty stomach ten to twenty minutes prior to breakfast.

Living with this illness has caused a lot of other issues in my life. Due to the disfigurement of my face (eyes) I stopped going out of my house and became a homebody more than I was before. This caused me to develop anxiety and a fear of failure and a fear of life outside of my home. I am almost 38 years of age and I don't have a license as of yet due to fear. I can't drive a car due to fear and I haven't worked a job since 2007. I have not had a job in almost eight years and it doesn't bother me all that much, but I know my lack of work skills come from my anxiety and fears of life.

The things that I think about happening to me I tend to realize that they can not happen but when you are dealing with this illness and the anxiety it brings it can cause you to become a prisoner in your own home.Due to me having asthma and dealing with potassium issues causing me spasms I decided to live life from my home the best way I knew how to. I am a college graduate with a double bachelor's in Psychology and Business Leadership, and I am now working on my Master's in Education.



This is a disease that can destroy you are it can make you stronger but its up to you on how you handle it. I have come to realize that with this illness it tends to feed off of negativity & stress and I have always been a somewhat positive person and I am still this way. I can't stand being around someone who is depressed for it will annoy me so I will do whatever I can to turn that person's depression into a laugh fest. I will tell stories rather they are true or not in order to get said person to laugh. I will post silly pictures and make silly faces.

I feel that life is to short to live it sad due to a disease that you have for there is always someone somewhere that is worse off than you are... Always remember that...






~Tysie Cherall~





Rushing…🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️


Rushing…

The act of advancing a football by running plays: the use of running plays; also: yardage gained by running plays.”

In life we often find ourselves in situations that makes us wonder “How in the hell did I get myself here?”
I am a 37 year young woman and I have come to the realization that I don’t like to spend much time alone anymore. I find myself rushing into relationships that always tend to end up in disaster at no one’s fault but my own. I have now decided to just live life according to what I feel God wants from me.
No one should ever rush when it comes to love for it is something that one should play with. Love is one of the most serious things in life that one can find and hold on to in their lifetime. I am a woman who lives her life with several auto immune diseases which makes it hard for someone to understand me and sometimes love me which is why I don’t feel the need to try to be in a relationship at this time in my life…


I don’t see where it makes sense at this time. I will concentrate on my education and obtain my Master’s. It truly makes me wonder why one such as myself go through the heart ache that I have endured in my life. I think and I constantly wonder is it something that I am not doing or something I may have done to have this faith thrown upon my life. Some say that this is just a path to the road of love. That everything happens for a reason and all of what I am experiencing is what I should be going through in order to prepare me for the man God has for me.
I will be 38 years young this year and within two more years I will be 40 years old and I always thought I would be married by this time in my life. I never thought that I would still be single. As a little girl I saw my life as me being married with three kids and two dogs in my home and a one big dog outside the home.
I saw myself having my dream job of owning my own business as a therapist for kids and a sex therapist for adults (married couples) and well the things that I have learned is that regardless to how well you live your life and how much you pray and plan your life to be a certain way and how much you rush to try and make your life into what you want it or think it should be that at the end of the day God has the last word over your life for he is the creator and author of the book entitled “Your LiFe” and there is nothing any of us can do to change it. All we can do is live life to the best of our ability and take it as it comes one day at a time and not Love is not something that you should RUSH….



~Tysie Cherall~

Mind Blown

Sheena came home late one evening, rushing inside to catch her phone that has rang four times already.
The conversation was rather bland in the beginning until she realized that she was talking to an old friend whom she hadn't spoken with in three years.
They talked for hours, catching up on old times. To her surprise he was in town on business, they decided to meet for coffee the next day.
Coffee was a bust for her meeting ran late they shared a few text messages and decided to have dinner @ her place. She said she would cook.
She knew what she wanted for it had been awhile since she had, had sex & he was the best, her meeting hadn't ran late but because of the pictures he text her she wanted to see him, feel him, taste him…
She made it home showered & begin to cook…
Dinner was done, time to get dressed...
Simple black freak'em dress, hair hanging down in big barrel curls, Red lipstick, & red stilettos.
He arrived just in time…
Dinner, dancing, & conversation leads them into her bedroom. Her body is in heat she can feel him inside of her before he even enters. He kisses her neck as he strokes her thighs. Turning her back to him by candle light he looks at her silhouette in the mirror as he placed soft kisses on the back off her neck.
She closed her eyes and quietly exhales…...
They embrace and move to the bed…
He sits her down on the edge of the bed, looks her deep into her eyes, caressed her hair. She looked at the floor nervous of his touch, it had been three years since she had seen this man (or made love to anyone). He tilted her chin up so he could see her face, he looked her deeply in the eyes and place a gentle kiss upon her lips.
She quivered…
He slid his hand up her back and unzipped her dress sliding it off her shoulders placing kisses on her as the dress slides of her body. She was wearing red lace bra & panty set from Victoria Secrets. He laid her back on the bed her long black hair fell around her, from the candles she had a glow like an angel. He just admired her thickness as he undressed down to his black boxer briefs.
In bed, on top the covers he started from the floor he kisses her ankles, knees, thighs, & stomach. Sheena is a thick girl so he had a lot to work with, he was always so mesmerized by her sexiness.
He kissed her lips, neck, as her caressed her body… she laid with her eyes closed wondering what would come next. He undid her bra and threw it to the floor.  Under the covers now his tongue flipped around on her nipples she sighed softly, he slid his body on top of hers and begin to kiss her so passionately, breathing ever so heavily running his fingers through her hair grunting as he slowly begin to grind his pelvis against hers causing her to cream in her panties. She begin to feel his nature awaken in his boxes she opened her legs wide and the heat from her pleasure zone caused him to grow harder.
He slid down her body kisses her all the way down and around every ripple in her tummy. He reached her pleasure garden and took a deep breathe slid her panties to the side and took a deep…
LICK…..
Her back arched, her head flipped backwards, she gripped the sheets and moaned out in ecstacy. He wrapped his arms around her legs & thighs so she couldn't move and found her pleasure button through the lace panties and used his tongue to caress & massage her with a rough but gentle motion.
She tossed, turned & twirl her hips as much as she could trying to fuck his mouth, grabbing his head then his ears curling her toes into the sheets her eyes rolling in the back of her head…
He finally made his way up ripped her panties off that turned her on so much she begin to ejaculate instantly…  Her body started to jerk her nails grabbed his back & she moaned out "Ohhh Shit I'm Cumming!!!" When he heard her he took off his boxer briefs slid a magnum condom on his 10 inches of pleasure,  grabbed the arched off her back and lifted her hips off the bed and slid in like a power drill.
Her body jerked as he thursted his manhood inside of her, he laid on to of her and whispered in her ear "Look at me" she opened her big round eyes & like at him. He starred his Hazel Brown eyes into her Smokey Grey eyes, with ever stroke she wanted to close her eyes but he kept whispering to her "Look at me"…
The more she looked at him, the harder and more she came it felt like every time he pulled out & slid back in she was having an orgasm. She pleaded with him to do doggy/style he to her "No, I wanna be able to see your face."
He rolled her over so she was on top, she thought she was going to have some kind of control but he held her down, he sat up held her to him in a hug and begin to twirl his hips, she lost all control, she felt every inch…
Her head fell back, she closed his back with her nails and after about twenty minutes she screamed "I'M ABOUT TO CUM!!!!" He begin to pump & grind faster yet slow, hard but gentle when she creamed all over him, the warmth of her juices instantly caused him to nut, he let out a loud grunt & a "GRRR FUUUUUCKKK!!!!"… he fell backwards she laid on him & they fell asleep...
She woke up the next morning mind blown to a note that said,
"Thanks for a wonderful time my love, I had a plane to catch for 9am & when it comes to you goodbyes are never fun or easy, please call me later & bill me for the ripped panties ."
She laid in bed "Mind Blown" by a man she knew she could "never" see again, because even though his love making rinders her speechless he belongs to another…
She curls up under her covers, sniffs his scent & relives last night in her mind as she drifts off back to sleep…
~OutSpoken Diva~

The Love Session

Laying in bed her phone chirped. It was him texting her. "I'm outside"
She went downstairs trying not to show her excitement to open the door. He comes in they embrace and he asks "whats good" she says "nothing" as she walks away to go sit down on the couch.
He follows and sits down beside her handing her a suicide daiquiri "thank you" she replies. They talk for a while he begins to poke her, Kidd her neck, rub her thighs, play with her fingers, he just had to touch her it seems.
She giggles and says "stop you play too much" after watching a few episodes of George Lopez she goes upstairs him right behind her pushing on her, grabbing at her ass, as she giggles and he laughs.
They reach the bedroom, he lays across the bed which sits on the floor, she gathers clothes for a shower he asks "can I smoke" she replies with "yes" she goes shower...
Emerging from the bathroom wearing just a towel wet hair all over her head, he was in awe of her natural beauty for he had never seen her "real" hair.
She dropped the towel and crawled in bed and slid under the sheet. He, of course, puts out his smoke turned off the television and put on Pandora a Keith Sweat station and Make Love by Tyrese was playing.
He slid down to the floor on his knees pulled the covers back and ran his hands up and down her legs caressing her so gently, then he grabs her thighs and pulls her body closer to him. He parted her legs and kissed her from her calf up to her thighs until he reached his favorite spot.
He stopped and took a deep breath and exhaled and whispered: "I've missed you." As he looked up into her eyes looking down at him he parted her lips with his tongue and made love to her pussy with his tongue. As she laid there in a lost space in time.
She twists and turned, wind and moaned until he came up and placed a wet passionate kiss on her lips, she licked her juices off of his face and clawed her nails into his back as he slid his manhood inside of her...
Her back arched, eyes rolled, and she gasps for air. His body flat on top of hers their moves were like music, they moved like an ocean wave perfectly in tune with each others rhythm.
He turned her own her side, her stomach, his back as she sat above his face. She felt weak so he laid her down and got on top and guided his manhood back inside of her and as he penetrated her they shared a passionate kiss with every stroke their passion grew the more they kissed the harder he stroked, the harder he stroked the more passion filled their bodies...
He raised her legs onto his shoulders and laid back down and begin to kiss he wasn't her man but the passion that they shared was out of this world. The more he kissed her the wetter she became, the wetter she became the harder he grew until she squirted, and creamed all over him and her satin sheets the minute she exploded so did he, they came together which was such a turn on to him he begin to ravish her body and lips with kisses of passion.
She could never understand how they could share such strong passion and connection with each other and they were not nor had ever been in a relationship with each other. They both just enjoyed the best sex in each other lives with each other. He kissed every inch of her and the love session started all over again.
When they stopped the sun was peeking through the window they were laying in bed smuggling. He kissed her ear and whispered he had to go, she put on her robe and walked him downstairs, he hugged her to his body tightly kissed her on her forehead and responded "I'll call you later" she replied "okay" he walked out the door to his truck, turned around came back and kissed her lips ever so passionately and walked away....
She closed and locked the door, went back upstairs and returned to bed curled up in the spot that smelled like him got under the covers that and fell asleep...
~Mz.OutSpokenDiva~

There is a Fear of Being Alone in My Spirit...

There is a Fear of Being Alone in My Spirit...My mind is caught up on feelings of despair and heartache. No one will ever understand how it feels to love someone who has hurt you and how it's so easy for those thoughts to rush into your mind and for your entire mood towards love, life, and that person can change in a heartbeat...

There is a Fear of Being Alone in My Spirit...

No one will ever understand the life a person lives when they deal with anxiety and depression and all they want to do is to feel normal and to love and be loved without someone thinking that they are thrown-off and someone so lovingly put it but all in all sometimes you truly can't control your true feelings for one minute you love them and the second minute you can't stand the ground that they walk on.

There is a Fear of Being Alone in My Spirit...

Living with these illnesses and to top it off having Thyroid disease as well causes one such as myself to love another in a way that is indescribable a way that even I don't always understand, more or less the person that you love does. Its almost like having a little anxiety, bi-polar, and schizophrenia all combined together but under it all, underneath all of the pain and all of the confusion lies a little girl that just genuinely wants someone to take her in his arms and love her unconditionally, never cheat on her or do anything to break her heart or give her any reason to not trust him or doubt his word.

There is a Fear of Being Alone in My Spirit...

I tend to hold on to God's unchanging hand for so far he is the one and only man besides my son who has not done me wrong or broken my heart but every relationship I have been in I have given my all and have been the one at the end of the day to walk away with a broken heart and a bucket full of tears that have spilled out of these eyes of mine, and yet I don't stop, I keep on trying, keep on being willing and able to walk back into the ring and try Love again...


There is a Fear of Being Alone in My Spirit, and I don't know how to fight it, There is a Fear of Being Alone in My Spirit and I don't know how to hide it,
There is a Fear of Being Alone in My Spirit, and I can't seem to shake free,
There is a Fear of Being Alone in My Spirit and its truly deep inside of me...I have tried to hide from it, ran as fast as I could but it just found me again and took control of my heart again. I don't know what to do, don't know where to turn, those who I thought had my back, made fun of me and left. They say I am insane and I don't know what I want, but you try living a life in my world and what it feels like when you get hurt...

There is a Fear of Being Alone in My Spirit...and I don't know what to do...

There is a Fear of Being Alone in My Spirit...and God I am crying out to YOU because only YOU know what I should do...




~Mz.OutSpoken~

"I Don't Know What To Do"

It's funny how all you do in life goes unnoticed
It's weird how all you want to do is be noticed, 
and loved by those you hold dear but all they do is
judge you and smear your name in the sand and dance
around your world, like you are less than...
Enough

(whispers the voices in my head...."I Don't Know What To Do")

I have loved men from far and I love men that are near
and at the end of the day, I still feel
alone...

I am in a never-ending spiral of relationships that come with the same conclusion...
DRAMA!
And I don't know what to do...

I don't know how to feel or where to hide or where to start or how to end situations that are no good for, to me without hurting someone else's feelings...because......

Hurting people hurts me and I don't like the feeling...

I'm that fun loving girl, who does the goofy things to put a smile on your face when you're feeling down around your place.

I am that girl who takes the pain away not inflict it, I don't want to be the mean girl I want to be the cool girl that everyone loves not hate...and yet...

I still don't know what to do...

Lord,

I just want to be happy, sane, and content in my home, I want to love and be loved, I want to feel that love overflowing within me. I want to feel free to love the one who loves me without the feeling of fear that he will some day in some way BREAK my heart as he and others have done in the past...
I feel like I get excited about life and the possible things that are to come my way and...

DePresSIoN comes in like a tone of bricks and knocks me right back down to...

Nothing...

(whispers the voices in my head...."I Don't Know What To Do")

I
Just
Want
To
Be
Stress
Free......
I want to be me I was back in 93' the me that was carefree and didn't have a problem in the world
the me that was real and cool, sexy and fine all at the same time!

I want to be the me that everyone knew as the cool girl with the lazy eyes except they aren't lazy anymore. I just want to BE... "M3"

I'm trying to get this college thing done so I can make the life I see in my mind reality and yet I keep getting hit with all of these obstacles that aren't even mine. I keep getting the end of a barrel that doesn't even belong to me...I feel like Fading Away...

I have issues on top of issues and those issues aren't even mine but at the same time how can I turn my back on someone who says their heart is mine.... for the keeping!?

My mind is in rambles and my heart is a mess, why do I keep dealing with shit like this...I want to scream but what will that do... Lord, I am trying to scream out to you... I feel lost and confused and stuck in a rut I am so tired of life kicking me in the butt...

My heart is skipping and my breathing is a mess

I just I just..

~Southern Queen~

Depression... 🎈

Everyone deals with their own share of life's troubles in their own way. Some write, read, vent to friends, smoke herb, some even drink. When it comes to depression it is not something that one should take for granted. When someone is telling you that they feel alone, they feel unloved it is something that you need to take very seriously. You don't dismiss their feelings because it something that they have always done you try to get them the help that they need. You watch them, their actions reactions their body language, eating habits just simple things that they do. Clinginess things of that nature. I just recently had my own round with depression and a close friend where he attempted to take his life and it was the most scariest thing I have ever went through in life. At the time I fought my hardest to keep him from harming himself and I was more pissed off with this person for solely thinking of himself in this situation when he has a child. It is never the right thing to do to take your life because of the fact that someone that does not love you the way you/they may want you to, you always put your children first. If you don't know how to do that you need to get help. I have been pushing for this person to get help since last year and they wouldn't do it until they felt as if their hands were tied. 

I don't care how many times a person says to you they feel alone or they are going to kill themselves never and I do mean NEVER ignore them. It might be them playing you or crying wolf to you but it is their way of screaming for attention. If you can't get or give them the attention force them to get the help that they need. Give them some kind of tough love but be careful for you don't know how they are going to react. I did this and the reaction was not what I was thinking "at all" I never thought that this person would take it as far as he did. Never disregard a person's feelings always pay attention to what someone tells you and do what you can to help them get help you never know you just might be the one person to save their life... Try to get them to go to mental health to see a therapist. Do what it takes to talk them into getting the help they need for you never know, no one knows the thoughts this person is having. One has to be very careful when dealing with one that is mental unstable but when you love someone as I love this person you have to do what you see is necessary to protect that person from themselves, from hurting themselves or anyone else. Show them that you care and that you really love them and get them to a mental clinic or hospital to get them help. They may not understand it at the time but in the end they will thank you or remember that you are the one that helped them to get the help they deserve and need... 

Trust Me!


Now trust me regardless of the relationship that you have with this person this situation is not going to be easy. It is very hard to know that the man I love is going through this. I may not love him in the sense that he wanted me to but I do have feelings for him. I want him to get well and do for himself and his child. I want him to understand that loving himself is more important than anything anyone can give him. There is no amount of love someone else can give him that would be more rewarding than the love of oneself... I just hope that he learns this and does what he needs to do to get his life together... 

~OutSpoken Diva~

♥Orbital Decompression♥


THIS BLOG HAD TO BE RE-WRITTEN SO FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO MAY HAVE READ IT ONCE BEFORE SOME THINGS/WORDS MAY BE DIFFERENT...I TRULY APOLOGIZE, TAKE THE TIME TO READ MY JOURNEY YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT...THIS SURGERY WAS SO-SO WORTH IT!!!




My name is Tysie (Ticy) Cherall and I was diagnosed with Graves Disease also known as Thyroid Eye Disease to some. I was diagnosed with this illness in 2007. I have thyroid issues as well. I developed this when I was pregnant with my son at the age of 18 years young, and of course, it progressed to Graves due to me not taking my medication as I was supposed to. I didn't realize the importance of taking my medication at that point in time in my life. I was scheduled to have surgery (Orbital Decompression) in 2008-09 but I got scared for I made the mistake of "watching" the video of the surgery and I basically chickened out and after some years of dealing with my right eye bulging out of the socket, being dry, tearing all the time and just being annoying I decided to go ahead and have the surgery. I want to go places and have another life besides the one that allows me to "stay inside" so, on December 5th of 2012 @ 5am in the morning I went into the hospital for my surgery. I have to say I can remember that day if it was yesterday viruses seven months ago. I thought I would be terrified when going in but I have I was a lot calmer than I thought I would be. My doctors were wonderful at calming me down even though I had this sort of peace over me. I felt no fear at all not one single ounce of fear or nervousness.



Being rolled down the hall into the surgery room was peaceful, I have to say that I was amazed at how calm I was. After the six hours of being out during surgery, I woke up as if I was taking a nice nap and was ready to go to the rest room like ASAP! The doctors were surprised at how awake I was and how I really had no negative side effects from the anesthesia. I have to admit this journey was a first for when they took me into the room to prep me for surgery I was laughing and the intern's and the anesthesiologist kept me on my toes telling jokes and plus he was "extremely" cute! but very married. Once in the room being transferred from the bed to the operating table, I heard dubstep music in the background which was a "first" for me to hear music in the operating room and I have had my share of surgeries in my life.



I stayed in the hospital over night for monitoring and the next day (December 7th) I went home with several prescriptions of pain pills (Loritab's) and creams for my eye...





Upon being at home for the first day I was so nervous to clean my eye...It scared me to have to touch it and place the creams "inside" my eye and having to clean it off. Granted I couldn't feel anything for that side of my face was numb for almost three months now that I think about it. I don't think I was able to feel my face until around March of 2013 for my surgery was in December of 2012. I had some swelling as you can tell in the photo's above and I had to sleep with that thing on my eye at night to prevent germs and infection while it was healing. I think I slept with that on my face for five months until most of my swelling was gone.








Within a weeks time, I went back to see my doctor, so they could check my swelling and this is how I went..."Pippy Long Stocking style" lol and they gave me more of the creams you see in the other picture. One is for moisture and the white one is Erythromycin, the antibiotic to prevent infection as well. I had to put this on the lower lid of my eye twice a day on the "inside" of the eye and on the right-hand corner where the incision was done. Once again this was a true task for me due to me not being able to feel my eye (the skin) but the eyeball itself was a lot more sensitive than it would be normally, so that was a chore in itself but I got the hang of it.

My ex now which was my boyfriend kind of was there and I have to say I wish he wasn't for I guess from being out for so long I was very agitated and then on top of that my cycle had started. I didn't want him around me. I would try to sleep and he wanted to sleep downstairs as well and with his snoring, I couldn't sleep at all so that caused me more stress for I had to constantly wake him up and make him get off of his back. By the third night, I had to explain to him there is no need for you to sleep under me on the couch there is an entire queen size bed upstairs that is empty calling your name, go get in it...

I say this because after surgery you stand a chance to be very irritated and you will get annoyed very easily so make sure you explain to family prior to going into surgery that you don't want to be  crowded or you don't want anyone wanting to see your eye or watch you clean it for, for me I didn't want anyone around me. My son knew to stay his distance but my ex was and still is a big baby and he just has or should I say "had" to be hanging on my coat tale which is so refreshing now cause I am "single"






 Moving forward to about a month after my surgery. I saw my doctor a week after and then after that two weeks went by and I went to see him again and this is what my eye looked like. Come to find out I had developed a slight infection in my eye for some reason and it was just as hard as it looks and it was warm to the touch and more dry than normal. So once there and they uncovered my eye I didn't even have to tell them how it felt they automatically knew and the doctor that was there to assist my doctor in the surgery he took a picture of my eye and sent it to my doctor and once again I was prescribed more 50mg of steroids and more cream to put in my eye. I had to take the steroids for almost two weeks and due to that, I gained a lot of weight which wasn't fun.











After about a week of taking the steroids and using the cream, the swelling went down a lot and my eye started to feel normal. It softens up a lot and I was actually able to close it completely for the first time ever in SIX years of me dealing with this illness...






I still had swelling of course and I was still sleeping with the mask

on but I would take it off at times when I was indoors. To prevent it from drying out I would turn my air conditioner off and open my house up just to have a slight breeze coming in. It was good, here   Louisiana around December/January it's not that hot. I had to sleep sitting in a recliner which wasn't that bad. I borrowed my friend's chair which was an oversize chair and it was extremely comfortable. I think I slept in the chair from December 7th when I got home all the way to around April. I was from the chair to the sofa until I was comfortable. The doctor's say that your only supposed to sleep in the chair for "FOUR" weeks but I don't agree with that, due to the fact that everyone's body is different. I tried to sleep on my couch and i was propped up and when I woke up I had slid down and my eye was back to being swollen, it was swollen shut! So back to my chair I went and I continued to sleep there until all of my swellings was gone...





 After about two months I went into see my doctor and I couldn't really tell a difference in the beginning and I have to say that I was getting extremely aggravated with the entire process.

 But what you have to realize is that this surgery is a slow process. I have talked to a lot of women that have made it very clear that the process of this surgery takes at least six months to see a real difference and a year to really appreciate the change in your eye(s) if the surgery is performed properly. And I have to say that I am thrilled with my results and I have had my surgery now for seven months.


Moving on to more months of this journey it is kind of hard to spend time in the house when you can't go anywhere and there is nothing for you to do for your homework is done and your 17-year-old son spends most of his time in his room playing his ps3 with online friends... I have to admit the following pictures shows you exactly how bored I became and how much I was falling in love with my eyes all over again...

Yes, it was a Saturday night, there was nothing on television, I had me a glass of wine I felt good and I was loving myself that night so I decided to take me some seriously crazy pictures... I have a few more but I refuse to show them on my blog. If you look at the picture above of me with my pig-tails and check out the previous picture of me with the pig-tails in black and white you can tell that I put on an enormous amount of weight from taking steroids and not being able to work out or go anywhere...which was beyond annoying! but very understandable being that I don't have a car walking around where I live could have caused me to have a serious infection with all the germs that are in the air it wouldn't have taken much for something to get caught up in my eye form the wind and cause me more issues than I truly wanted to deal with...




I have to say through out this entire journey I had no pain. I have to admit that my eye was a tad bit sore by the incision area on the outer side of the right eye but that was about it. I still had some scratchiness for I couldn't put anything directly on my eye, but at this point in the pictures above, I started to tape the right eye closed after using eye drops. (Refresh Tears)


I really can't say anything bad about my journey for it wasn't bad at all. I have to say for as scared as I was about having this surgery I was truly scared over nothing. I went through this journey for six years and I have had my surgery and a lot of things have changed in my life. Its funny how before I had my surgery I got all kinds of attention from men, women, children looking at me I guess doing their best trying to figure out what was wrong with my eyes and now that I have had my surgery I don't get that attention anymore and I have to admit it is kind of weird but that is something I have to work on within myself...Some never even noticed that anything was wrong with my eyes but I find that hard to believe... I have to say to all of you ladies and gents who have thought of are or getting ready to go through this surgery give your worries to God for it is not at all as bad as it may seem or as you may think it is. Now I have to say that everyone's body will react to this surgery differently but this is just my personal journey and how I felt and what I went through...

I have another surgery to endure with this same eye sometimes towards the end of this year and I truly can't wait to have it done...to get rid of the bag under the right eye and have my lashes flipped back out...but for the bag under the left eye I have to pay to have that removed due to the hospital staying that it is cosmetic and it will cost me about $2500, to @3000. which is truly not a big deal to me because it is something that I want to have to feel better about myself...below are a few more pictures of my journey and how I look now...I hope you enjoyed this rewrite of my journey and if you want to know more feel free to email me "Godsangel77@live.com" or you can find me on Facebook as well:


~Ms. Chyna Gurl on Facebook~


~SIMPLY ME~






Wow!!! It has been 11 months on today since I have had my Orbital Decompression surgery and I have to say that I am loving my eyes more and more as time goes by. Granted there are a few things that I would love to have changed to complete my surgery, but it all goes according to what God sees for me and what my doctor tells me is the next step. I have to go into see my doctor on December 4th this year to see about getting something called a spacer in my lower lids to help push the lower lids up to help my eyes close completely for they still have at least an inch and a half of open space that is still causing extreme dryness with them and for the right lower eyelid my lashes are rubbing on the eyeball which is not good and they want to fix that as well.


 I have to say that since I have had this surgery I have been very happy and pleased with the results and the responses that I get from other people. I intend to become more of an advocate for Graves or Thyroid Eye Disease as others know it to be. I want to make it known that this surgery is not as horrific as some may think it is, however, every doctor does the surgery different from being in the states all the way to being in the UK its all different as for Graves affects every one of us differently...but as long as you have faith in God or in yourself everything will be fine and you won't regret it! 

~Don't Be Afraid To Ask Questions Before Surgery About the Surgery and About the Doctor and his experience doing this surgery as well...~

My doctor told me to never watch the video's online for it can scare you and I have to say I watched them before he said this and it did scare the living crap out of me and it took me two years to reschedule my surgery but in the end I had it done and I am beyond happy for this...

If anyone has any questions please email me:

godsangel77@live.com

Update 2019



Loving My Eyes!!

(click the photo journey link and enjoy!)



My Graves Disease Photo Journey 


~Uniquely OutSpoken~